Beauty is a preferred indifferent

Hey!

Last week I wrote an article on Reddit and it got 418k views and 1.3 likes.

(See the article here or read it below.)

The message of the article is if beauty is crucial in a partner.

Because I'm not so sure anymore.

I used to think attraction was the only thing that mattered.

If a girl was beautiful, I was all in.

If not, I didn’t even give it a second thought.

But the older I get (I’m 23 now), the more that feels… empty.

Beauty doesn’t fix arguments.
It doesn’t keep someone loyal.
It doesn’t make someone wise or patient or kind.

Basically, beauty and looks do not prove ANYTHING about a person’s character.

The Stoics called beauty a “preferred indifferent.”

Meaning, it’s nice to have, but it’s not the foundation of a good life. Or a good relationship.

(The Cynics called beauty just an “indifferent,” meaning it can even be an obstacle to the good life. Aristotle, on the other hand, said looks are necessary.)

I like how Epictetus used to roast his students for falling in love just because a girl was pretty.

He’d ask:

“No enemy could conquer you, but a pretty face did? How do you call yourself free when you’re the slave even of a little girl?”

Ouch.
But true.

Because looks fade.
Desire fades.
And if that’s all you were standing on… then what?

You’re left with nothing.

But character doesn’t fade.

It compounds.

And the more you get to know someone’s character, the more you love them.

A person who’s loyal, who can stand beside you in grief, who actually grows with you—that’s rare.

And I’m realizing that’s what I actually want.

Not saying beauty doesn’t matter at all.

I still notice it, obviously.

But without character, it just feels hollow now.

See you next week, friend, for the next topic!
Ioannis Sintoris or Said the Stoic

PS. Have you picked a partner in the past based on their looks only to regret it later?