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May 14, 2025

97% of people don’t understand that:

Your expectations are screwing you all the time.

You expected them to text back.

You expected your friend to say thank you.

You expected your boss to notice the extra effort.

You expected life to go your way.

And now… you’re pissed. Frustrated. Bitter. Maybe even resentful.

That’s the sad reality of using hope as a strategy.

Expectations are silent contracts that only you signed.

They create emotional traps that make you reactive, anxious, and weak.

The Stoics warned us:

Expectation is the root of unnecessary suffering.

As I write in Resist and Persist, life doesn’t care about your plans.

“There is a bigger plan behind us no one knows anything about,” said Marcus Aurelius.

People don’t always say thank you.

Clients don’t always pay on time.

The girl doesn’t always text back. (Well, almost never actually ☹️ )

Fate does what it wants.

Your job is to stop cursing when it does.

The Stoics had an antidote for this:

Premeditatio Malorum.

Don’t think everything will go your way.

Why?

Because that rarely happens.

Instead think that something might not go your way.

That’s a more realistic way of looking at things.

Because the moment you expect anything outside your control to unfold a certain way…

You’ve already lost.

You’ve given your peace to a fantasy.

Seneca said it simply: “He who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary.”

Expect that pretty blonde to text back two days later or—gulp!—to never text back.

Expet the friend you helped with his personal issues to not say ‘thank you’.

Expect the boss to give the promotion to the person who flatters him.

Expect rain to ruin your plans.

Expect these things because they very well can happen.

Adjust your expectations and you won’t have to fear anything.

You can hope they treat you right. But expect nothing.

You can plan for things to go well. But prepare for the worst.

In a world full of people who melt when life doesn’t go as planned…

Be the one who didn’t expect it to.

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