What Did The Stoics Say About Sex?

I find it strange to me that we have so few Stoic quotes on sex.

It feels that the Stoics thought it was just another topic. And they didn’t want to discuss it further.

Sex is a natural need. According to Stoicism, it’s an indifferent:

We don’t control our biology. And we (mostly) don’t control when the desire arises.

We only control what we do with it once it arises.

But we can actually divide the Stoics into two categories:

i. Those who viewed it as indifferent
ii. Those who condemned it

Musonius Rufus belongs to the second category.

He connects sexual acts to virtue (or the lack thereof) and explicitly claims that “sex should be pursued only for begetting children.”

Even for the rest of the Stoics, this belief was too strict.

How do I know?

Read what Epictetus, Musonius’ student, had to say:

“Resist bodily pleasures as much as possible before marriage. But if you must, do so with moderation and avoid anything that’s socially unacceptable. But don't judge or ridicule those who overindulge in sex, nor boast about your self-control.”

But what does Epictetus mean by “socially unacceptable”?

I cover this in detail—as well as a complete picture of Stoic views on sex in my upcoming book Persist & Resist—but Epictetus probably implies:

• Threesome and orgies

• Collecting bodies

• Or even doing inappropriate sexual-related activities with your partner.

In simple words: actions that degrade your human nature.

In even simpler words: actions that make you look like an animal.

But one thing Musonius said that we can all tattoo in our hearts is his relationship between self-control and sex:

“If, for example, men say they are superior to women, then surely those same men would agree that we shouldn’t expect less self-control and temperance in sexual matters from men than women.”

Otherwise, the women are superior to men in that.

I like that. Because today’s society rewards men who have slept with lots of women.

But a Stoic shrugs his head at this and understands that:

It’s more difficult to resist the urge to sleep with 100 women than to do it.

That’s it for now. You’ll be able to read a complete treatise on sex as if the Stoics were still alive today when my book goes out in public.

Thank you for reading. Make sure to give it some thought.

See you next week, friend, for the next topic!
Ioannis (John) Sintoris

PS. If you want me to cover and research something specific about Stoicism (as we did with Stoic views on emotions), just reply to this email or text me on LinkedIn.